Stats

Just checked out the views for this thing. There are more of you than I thought. Mainly because no one seems to comment (hint hint).

I really need to post more.

Just a quick update:

This started as something to track my writing (for a book) and I think it will be transitioning into tracking my writing (for a screenplay). Writing is just another art form I've added to my ever growing list of interests. The good news is everything I'm in to... all the different art forms... blend perfectly into film.

Three seconds*

Going to normal college and taking normal classes is driving me INSANE! I don't care when Italy became known as Italy. I want to make opening sequences and pick music to play during the important parts of fictional characters lives. And not have to rant about books, scripts, and movies that have been ruined because they didn't hire me! Damn it!

Yes, I can ask you if you want to see Harry Potter, but I can't tell you how to make it look like a tornado is about to rip your house out of the ground. And yeah, sure, I can write and present a speech with a fever and get a B, but I have never given a pep talk before filming the first scene of a project.

I don't care about statistics or economics. I don't want to learn how to ask for a pen in German. I just want to make a movie that I can be proud of and that my friends will enjoy. One that they don't have to lie when they tell me the like it. I want to make a movie they adore. I want to create characters they love with a soundtrack that kiss ass. I want the opening credits to make your jaw drop. And I want the end credits and music to be so good you stay until the very end. (Which I will then reward you for by having an extra clip when it's over.)

*This is how far away I am from dropping out of KSU. I'm frustrated. I love the people at this school, but I want to study film, not the theory of film. I want a camera in my hands and editing software on my computer. I want a script in my bag and a pen nearby to make edits.

EDIT: Just looked at my horoscope for today (Sunday).

Although today may be your day off, you still retain a strong desire to know where you are heading in your chosen profession. Your general career path may be the topic of a hot discussion now. But don't try to reach any final decisions or make a detailed action plan for what comes next. Instead, just give yourself the physical and metaphysical space to dream as big as you can, because nearly anything is possible. The greatest limitations at this time will arise from within your own mind.

Fireworks

These past weeks have been interesting. Stressing out over school, thinking about the next year, wondering if I'll ever get to study film, making new friends, seeing harry potter. It's been a busy time. But I am enjoying myself. I do know that I want to be here until September. After that I don't know what will happen. It really depends on what happens between now and then.

New semester

School started today. I kept thinking it was going to be different from UWG, but KSU is still just a school. I do like the room I was in today. If I get the same seat the rest of the semester that will be nice.

I only had one class today. Computers and your world. ("Not my world. Your world is different from my world. I'm an old fart." - R. Shaver) It was good. We can't have our computers on during class, but other than that it should be great. We watched a youtube video, heard a really good joke, and heard Shaver cuss. Five times. In two minutes. It should be a good semester with this class.

Tomorrow I have three classes. French - I can't use English properly so this should be interesting. History - In the first email the professor sent out he called himself an idiot. Who knows how this will go? And Public speaking - I've taken a similar class before so this shouldn't be too terrible.

I'll let you know how things go.

I did try

Warning: I am extremely vague in this post. You can just skip down to the good news I posted.

I did the one thing I wanted to avoid. In a way, I did two things. Neither favorable. I told someone. That's the second thing. The first is who I told. The one person I know for a fact is off having a blast far away from whatever might be happening in their life.

I did try to keep it in, but they were online and today... today was notsome and I let it get to me. I wanted to let this person have their fun and not bother them with something stupid. Clearly, I failed. And then I ran. Not actual running. I just sort of... closed the page. I am such a child. I should "go back" but I really didn't want to say anything. Ugh! I am so mad at myself for this. What I think makes it worse is that we aren't even close. I would like us to be, but not because of something like this! It's my own fault, really. Like most things.

They did say they were in a dream world. Not now, but when they had to be around a similar thing. The only problem is that I handled (or, more appropriately, didn't handle) Josh's death by doing that. I just started getting things back to normal. Going back would kill me. Not a very good dream world, is it?

The good news of the day: I did beat Bayonetta this morning. And I noticed a pattern forming. The two games I've beaten are Bayonetta and Batman. Things they have in common? Well, B's. And characters wearing tight black leather. What does this say about me?

Do you ever...?

Do you ever consider authors you have met to be your friends?

I do. And I wonder if it's weird.

Monday hurt

My blood pressure way doing some freaky things that made my head hurt the entire day. It got so bad at one point that I started to cry when my sister sent me a text message. When my mom got home from work and my sister from school I went in to my parents room to talk with them. I really wanted some coffee and my sister has one of those Starbucks frappuccino bottle things in the fridge so I was hoping she would let me have it and just buy her a new one when I didn't want to decapitate myself. So I went in my room and grabbed my change jar and went back into the room with them. Kim asked how much change I had and my reply was "This. I had more but Obama took it all." Now, don't get me wrong Obama is whatever. I don't care about Obama. But my head hurt and I knew my mom would get a kick out of it. (She laughed for a while so I was right.) And in the ten minute conversation that followed I cussed a few times. (Not something I do very often.)

why am I telling you this? I don't really know. Maybe, I want to share something that most people wouldn't. I am a private person. (Said the girl with two blogs, a few youtube channels, twitter, and tumbler.) It is a moment that I got to forget that my head might explode and just be. And then my head exploded. Okay, that didn't happen. I went with my dad to the store and got a coffee. It didn't help any, but it was good.

I made some scrambled eggs later and that stopped it long enough to fall asleep.